Uphill Both Ways
by youreamarshmallowveronicamars
Summary: What if Veronica hadn't been able to blow the whistle and stop herself from being raped in 3.09? Will eventually be a LoVe story. This is my first fic ever so if you could point out any glaring mistakes that would be lovely. Comments are super helpful and welcome.
1. Chapter 1

"Shut up. We're not gonna get caught. Give me all the GHB you've got left. We'll get it all down her throat, she won't remember last year let alone last night."

"I'm out of it." Mercer grabbed Moe's shirt but quickly let go.

"Watch her. I'll go to my room. I've got plenty."

Veronica fumbled with the whistle in her hands, but they felt like lead and she could barely get it to her mouth. As she prepared to blow it, Mercer noticed and ran across the room, stepping down on her arm, hard. She tried to scream out in pain but Mercer crouched down and put his hand over her mouth.

"Nice try Veronica, but you're mine now. I would have thought you'd be excited. You're single now, aren't you? I could be your rebound guy." He chuckled to himself as he motioned Moe over to take his place.

"Make sure she doesn't make any noise at all. If she tries anything then hit her. If anything. Anything. Goes wrong then it's on you, and you're a dead man. Got it?"

"Yes sir." Moe said, shivering slightly. He liked Veronica. He thought she seemed nice but he valued his own life too much to let her get away. Mercer stood up and left, hobbling from the wound in his leg, but trying to move as quickly as he could. As he walked to his room he thought of Logan. Poor guy probably wouldn't be too happy to find out his ex got raped. He probably still had feelings for the bitch. He would feel so guilty, like if he had still been there for her it wouldn't have happened. It wasn't true of course, Mercer had wanted Veronica and he always got what he wanted. He smiled. He had never been more excited in his life.


	2. Chapter 2

Mercer rapped impatiently on the door to Moe's room.

"Mercer? Sir, is that you?" Moe whined from the other side of the door.

"Yes you idiot. Let me in."

The door opened and Mercer limped inside, taking the vile of GHB from his pocket and striding confidently towards Veronica who was mostly unconscious on the floor, a freely bleeding new gash across her forehead.

"She- She tried to bite me sir." Moe explained, wringing his hands and flinching.

"Feisty." Mercer chuckled, emptying most of the contents of the vile into her partially open mouth before tossing it aside.

"Go take a walk Moe. Lock the door on your way out."

"Yes sir. But um. Wha-what are we gonna do with her?"

The thought hadn't yet occurred to Mercer. He glanced at the open window, and considered the fact that he could probably just throw her out. Drunk girl falls out window. That kind of thing happens all the time, doesn't it? But homicide wasn't really his style. After all, what fun would it be if she never got to wake up and see what was done to her. He smiled thinking of her face when she woke up and saw her new haircut. Tough little Veronica Mars, crying. Maybe he was doing her a favor. If Logan saw her like that he might take pity on her. Maybe they would get back together. But now wasn't a time to think of Logan, now was a time to think of what to do with the bitch when he was done with her. Mercer chuckled. He knew exactly what to do.

"I've got it. I'll tell you when I'm done. Now, how about that walk we discussed?"

Moe nodded and apprehensively exited the room, locking the door as he went.

It's a shame it had to happen like this Veronica. But then again, you're not really my type. And poor Logan's still hung up on you. He would have never let me have a chance."

* * *

Logan arrived at the apartment of Kim Keiser and kicked in the door. He had watched enough of his dad's movies to know how to do it, and he didn't have time to be civil, it's not like a rapist would open the door to a patient knock. You could say he was more than a little bit surprised to find a pajama clad Kim sitting on her couch, watching reality TV, perfectly fine.

"What the hell are you..?"

"Your cup. At the party. There was GHB in it. I..."

The girl's eyes opened wide in shock as tears pooled in the corners.

"I gave my ID to my little sister, Carrie. She lives in Venice hall." She managed to choke out.

"Oh god." Logan said, turning on his heel and running out the door. He probably should have asked which dorm room, but he didn't have time. In his car, he tried to call Veronica, but she didn't pick up. Logan started to panic, but took a deep breath and told himself that she was fine. He knew better than anybody else that Veronica Mars could take care of herself. On the other hand, he also knew that she didn't listen to what anybody told her, ever. She had said she would look for information on Kim. What if she had found out about her sister? She wasn't one to tell somebody else or get help. All Logan could hope was that she had found out and stopped the rape. He redialed her number.

A/N I don't know how I feel about this story yet. Let me know if I should continue writing it or not!


	3. Chapter 3

She hadn't woken up yet. 4 days and she was still unconscious. Logan had been running through the campus frantically shouting for Veronica when he had found Moe and Mercer attempting to dump her outside of Parker and Mac's dorm room. For two guys who had pulled off a number of rapes without being caught, they were being pretty damn stupid.

"Did you two do this?" he asked, quietly fuming, but not wanting to make any rash decisions if they were just trying to help her. Neither answered. Logan backed Mercer against the wall.

"I got you out of jail!" he screamed.

"I had her," he pointed at Veronica, "find out all she could to prove that it wasn't you!And it was. It was you all along, wasn't it?"

"No. I swear.. it-it wasn't man you gotta..."

Mercer was cut off as Logan kneed him in the groin, hard.

"YOU LIAR!" he punched him in the gut.

"YOU. ARE. THE. SCUM. OF. THE. EARTH!" With each word, Logan punched Mercer. For Veronica. For Parker. For all the girls that he had raped. Logan let go of his shirt and Mercer slid to the ground. At that point, most of the hallway had been awakened, and countless phones were out, calling the police and for ambulances. Parker and Mac kneeled by Veronica. Both were in tears, as were many others in the hallway, covering their mouths with their hands and watching as the Hearst rapist finally got what he deserved. All the while Moe had stood there, not even trying to run.

Logan kneeled down next to Veronica. He was shaking with anger and fear, looking at the strongest woman he knew, lying bruised, broken and bald on the floor, streaked in blood and breathing shallowly.

"I should have been there for her." Logan muttered, feeling tears begin to streak down his face.

"This is my fault."

Everyone had told him that it wasn't. Mac, Parker, Wallace, Keith, Piz even. Mercer was a sadistic guy and nothing that Logan could have done would have prevented what he did. But if Logan hadn't broken up with Veronica, if he had been by her side at that party, she would have been fine. He knew it. No girl deserved to be raped. Especially not twice in her life.

The doctor's had said that Veronica would be fine. Eventually. A broken arm, a few broken ribs, a slight concussion maybe. But with the amount of GHB that Mercer had dosed her there was no saying when she would wake up. And when she did who could say when she would be okay emotionally. Logan was going to be there for her though. The first time she had been raped, Logan hadn't been there for her, But if she would let him, this time he would be. They had broken up because Veronica didn't need him. She sure as hell needed him now.

The phone rang and Logan jumped. It was Keith Mars.

"She's awake. She'd like to see you, Logan."

A/N: Thanks to all of you who favorited/followed/reviewed my previous chapters. I'd love to hear what you all have to say about this chapter! Constructive criticisms would be greatly appreciated as I know I'm not a wonderful writer. Tell me what you think should happen next!


	4. Chapter 4

Logan drove as quickly as he could, without being completely reckless, to the hospital. The last thing that Veronica needed right now was Logan wrapping his car around a tree while driving too fast to come see her. Logan sat in his car in the parking lot, preparing to go in and see Veronica. He had been so scared of losing her, especially right after she had been admitted to the hospital, that he had thought of a million things that he'd like to say to her. He needed to apologize. For not being there, for breaking up with her, for all the things he had done the first summer that they had dated, for everything he had said about her right after Lilly's death. Logan had recently realized that Veronica Mars meant the world to him. He would more than understand if she wasn't interested in being in a relationship right now, and he was willing to give her as much time and space as she needed. Even if that meant never getting back together. Either way he was going to be there with her every step of the way. He took a deep breath and entered the hospital.

Something deep inside of Logan had snapped the night he had seen what Mercer and Moe had done to Veronica, and the second he saw her awake, looking so small and afraid, he wished he could beat the shit out of Mercer all over again. He could hardly remember what had happened. All he could remember was white hot rage, and his fists connecting with Mercer's stomach, his face, his arms, his chest, flesh against flesh until the rage had subsided for fear and pain to take over. He had continued to hit him even as he began to feel less and less angry. A fist swung at Mercer's face had produced a sickening crack, and a muffled groan as blood had gushed from his now-broken nose. Logan's breathing had been heavy when he finally stopped punching, and Mercer looked like he had been hit by a truck. He deserved it, no, he deserved worse for what he had done to all those girls. Logan would have killed Mercer if he thought it would have helped the situation. But he would never have to pay for his actions if he was dead. He would never have to sit in a jail cell, thinking about exactly how much of a piece of shit he was.

"Logan?" Veronica asked timidly, noticing Logan's clenched jaw and balled fists.

"Are you okay?"

Logan laughed quietly, and shook his head slightly.

"You're the one in the hospital bed and you're asking if I'm okay?" He moved closer and took the chair next to the bed, taking Veronicas unbroken hand into his own. She flinched slightly at the contact and Logan let go immediately. Veronica bit her lip.

"I'm sorry Logan it's just-" tears welled in her eyes and she breathed deeply. After what had happened, she didn't know how long it would be before she would be okay again. She was trying to be strong, because that's who she was. Veronica Mars was not weak, and she wouldn't let what had happened stop her from living her life, at least that's what she had told herself. When the police had tried to ask her about what she remembered, she had broken down and cried so hard that they had ultimately left after asking the first question. She couldn't remember anything anyways.

"Veronica you don't need to apologize." Logan cast his eyes towards the ground.

"I should be the one apologizing."

Veronica shook her head and tentatively took Logan's hand into hers, causing him to look up.

"You can't blame yourself for this Logan. Mercer-"

"If I hadn't broken up with you I would have been there. It never would have happened because I would have been by your side. Maybe I could have persuaded you not to even go to that dumb party. It's my fault Ronnie."

It was silent for a few moments. Veronica didn't want Logan to pin this on himself but she couldn't think of anything that she could say. She couldn't remember any of the details from that night, so she couldn't really say anything about it. One of the last things she could remember was Logan breaking up with her because she didn't need him. She squeezed his hand.

"I need you Logan." Veronica burst into tears.

Logan held her hand as she cried.

"I'm here Veronica. I always will be."

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and follows! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint! This isn't the end of the story, just to be clear, there's still more coming. Let me know what you thought of this chapter, I'd love to hear your opinions if you're willing to share them with me.


	5. Chapter 5

Later that week Veronica was released from the hospital. The whole time she was there she was never alone. Logan had spent a lot of time with Veronica, sometimes not even saying anything, just being there like he had promised he would be. Veronica was more than glad that she didn't have to deal with the trauma of being raped alone this time. But it was also harder. The first time she had been able to suffer quietly and alone. She didn't have to talk about her feelings with anybody. It wouldn't be easy for her to open up to everybody like that. Most of the time she didn't even have anything to say, when somebody tried to talk to her about how she was feeling she usually just broke down. She went back to class, but everything was a lot harder when everywhere she went she had to endure the looks and whispers from her classmates. It was also tough that with a broken arm, she couldn't do something as simple as cutting up her food by herself. It was humiliating to have to ask for help with nearly everything.

A few days after Veronica had been released from the hospital, Keith had to go out of town for a case.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay with me gone?" he asked, standing in the doorway preparing to leave.

"Yes."

"And you'll call me if you need me?" Keith said, the worry obvious in his voice.

"I'm a big girl dad. I think I can handle it."

He nodded. Veronica had arranged for Logan to come over and help her out. Her dad had been apprehensive to let her ex boyfriend stay at their apartment but he had been so supportive in the past few weeks that he eventually relented. A quick hug and a peck on the cheek and Veronica was alone. She sat on the couch and turned on the T.V., but she could focus. She felt fidgety and uncomfortable being by herself. She hadn't had a lot of time to just be alone recently so it seemed strangely quiet and just plain weird. A few minutes later she heard a knock on the door and jumped up to get it.

Logan stood on the doorstep, and Veronica thought of all the other times he had been there before. She knew that they had been through a lot together, and like Logan had once said, their relationship was definitely "epic". Veronica still loved Logan, and she knew that he loved her too. But after what had recently happened she wasn't really ready for anything more than a platonic relationship with him. And he understood that, as far as Veronica could tell. She wasn't sure how long it was going to be before she was ready for any kind relationship though, and she was prepared for Logan to move on. Nobody could wait forever.

"I brought Chinese," Logan said, stepping over the threshold into the kitchen/living room area of the apartment and placing the bags on the counter. "is that okay?"

Veronica pulled herself out of her thoughts.

"Yeah. Perfect."

After they had eaten, Logan and Veronica had sat on the couch and watched some dumb movie on TV just to make fun of it. When the movie was over, Logan had helped Veronica get ready for bed and had gone to sleep on the couch, with Veronica tucked safely in her bed.

It was around 3 AM when he heard her sobbing in her room.

Concerned, he shook himself out of his sleepy daze and went down the hall. He knocked on the door.

"Veronica?" he inquired. "Are you okay?"

"You can come in Logan." she muttered through her tears.

He entered to see Veronica sitting in her bed, her good arm wrapped around her like it was the only thing keeping her from shattering into a million pieces.

Logan sat down next to her.

"How long have you been up?" he said sweetly, taking his thumb and wiping some of the tears from her face.

"Not long. I-I had a nightmare." she buried her face in the fabric of his shirt and started sobbing again. He wrapped one arm around her petite frame and used the other hand to stroke her hair soothingly.

"It's okay Veronica. They're in jail. And I'm here, you're safe, I promise."

She nodded into his chest but continued to cry. They sat there like that for a long time.

"Nobody is ever going to hurt you again, not on my watch. You mean the world to me, you know that right Ronnie?" She nodded again.

A few minutes later her sobs subsided and she began to fall asleep. Logan stood to go but Veronica stopped him. She lay down on her bed.

"Would you please stay? I... I would feel safer if you stayed."

Logan nodded wordlessly and joined Veronica under the covers, wrapping his arm around her.

He closed his eyes and minutes later they were both fast asleep.

A/N: Sorry this took a couple of days I had like serious writers block. Tell me what you thought!


	6. Chapter 6

"Veronica." Logan said, shaking her sleeping form

"Veronica, you need to wake up." She groaned, rolling over and rubbing her eyes.

"What time is it?" she muttered into the pillows.

"I don't know," Logan said, obviously shaken up by something.

Veronica furrowed her brow.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Veronica... Mercer escaped. From jail. Nobody knows how he did it but he did. I don't know if it's safe for us to be here."

Veronica set her jaw.

"You know that's not who I am Logan, I don't run from my problems." Her body language and the tone of her voice told Logan that obviously she was serious and was not going to leave.

"I have class in an hour. Are you going to drive me or not, because if you don't plan on driving me I'll have to find somebody else."

Logan sighed. It seemed like Veronica was feeling much more like Veronica that morning. She was always so stubborn, but like he had said before, she wasn't invincible and she wasn't always right, and she just needed to accept that.

"Okay Veronica. Just-just promise me you won't pry into this? I want you to be safe, if anything happened to you again, I don't know what I would do." He put her hand in his and stared at the ground.

Veronica bit her lip and nodded.

"Logan. Look at me." she said, squeezing his hand. He obliged. "I promise you that I'm not going to go looking for Mercer. That's probably the last thing I need right now. And from now on I'm going to be so much more careful Logan. For me, but mostly for you. I hate being so helpless, but what I hate more is seeing how much it hurts you to see me like this, and the fact that you feel responsible..." She shook her head. "I don't ever want to put either of us through anything like this again." She leaned her head on his chest. Just then, the phone rang, it was Keith.

Veronica sighed.

"Can you talk to him Logan. Just tell him I'm asleep. I don't think I can handle talking to him about this right now." Logan nodded and wordlessly picked up the phone and walked into the other room. A few minutes later he returned to find Veronica struggling to get her shirt on. After helping her, he recounted what Keith had told him.

"Your dad says he's going to come home as soon as he can. He says it's fine if you go to classes today but that we should come home straight after both of us are done. He doesn't want you to go anywhere alone and says that you shouldn't eat or drink anything that you didn't find in the apartment."

Veronica nodded.

"Let's go find some breakfast then."

A/N thanks for all the comments and stuff it's all super helpful. Be sure to review and stuff it makes me very happy and I will have more incentive to write if I know that people are enjoying this story!


	7. Chapter 7

Veronica would have loved to just ignore the fact that Mercer had somehow managed to break out of prison, but that possibility seemed next to impossible. It was in the news all the time. Her dad was calling approximately every 5 minutes to make sure that she was okay, and Logan seemed to be even more protective than usual. If Mercer had any brains at all, which he must have in order to get away with all of his crimes, he would stay far, far away from Neptune. Veronica figured that he was probably in Mexico, probably making plans to go even farther away. But the possibility that he could be looking for her, or for Logan, was freaking her out constantly. From what she had been told about what they had gathered from that night, he had good reason to be really angry with both of them. Apparently Veronica herself had stabbed him with some sort of unicorn statue while trying to stop him from raping another girl, and when Logan had found out that it was Mercer who had been the rapist all along, and when he saw what he had done to Veronica, he had beat him up so badly that he was hospitalized briefly. She kept having nightmares involving what would happen if Mercer was after them. The majority of them ended in Logan dead. Veronica was dealing with enough without having to add lack of sleep to the list of things in her life that sucked. Keith was still out of town, so Logan had been sleeping in Veronica's bed with her for the past few nights, which was comforting. Things with Logan were kind of complicated though. She loved him, and knew that he felt the same way, but with everything that had happened she just wasn't sure about a relationship.

Besides, things had been complicated with Logan long before her second rape. Hell, things had been complicated since before the first time she was raped all those years ago. She remembered a time where Logan had been Lily's boyfriend and Duncan had been hers. She had always loved him, even back when he was someone else's boyfriend. Even when he had smashed in the headlights of her car and helped spread nasty rumors about her. There was something about Logan that Veronica couldn't explain, but it always left her dazed and wanting more. Maybe it was his troubled past or his moodiness or his trademark smirk, but he was irresistible to her. Sure, often she still saw the side of him that was pure "psychotic jackass", but she had been seeing it less and less lately.

Veronica was shaken out of her thoughts by her alarm clock, signaling the start of another day. That was the hardest part for Veronica about having to get out of the bed in the morning. She had to accept that there was an entire day ahead of her, and if things got to be too much she couldn't just pause the day and come back to it when she felt like she could endure all the drama. She sighed and nudged Logan awake, rolling out from his arm to silence the blaring noise.

A/N: Sorry this chapter was kind of filler, the next one will be up soon, I promise! Until then, any reviews would be greatly appreciated so I know what you guys are liking!


	8. Chapter 8

Logan rubbed his eyes sleepily, yawning. He smiled at Veronica.

"Good morning." he mumbled, sitting up and running a hand through his bedhead.

"'Good' isn't exactly a word I would use to describe the morning." Veronica replied, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and crossing the room to her dresser. She pulled out a few articles of clothing before announcing that she was going to go shower. Logan sleepily stumbled to the kitchen and began looking around for something to cook for breakfast. After banging noisily through the cupboards for a few minutes he eventually decided that he would make pancakes. They were easy to make, and Veronica had always loved them. Veronica didn't get out of the shower until right after the first batch was done. They sat down.

Veronica hadn't meant to take such a long time in the shower, but after her rape she felt like it was impossible to get clean. Knowing what Mercer had done she just felt grimy and disgusting all the time. She didn't mention it to Logan though, he was always worried about her, and while she appreciated it, she didn't want to give him more fodder for never allowing her time to herself. It's not like she was going to do anything stupid. Veronica definitely wasn't okay, but that wasn't any reason, in her eyes to commit suicide or do anything like that. After her rape she had definitely wished she could die, but actually taking her own life? Veronica shook her head to herself.

"Veronica? Earth to Mars..." Logan said, standing up and waving a hand in front of her face.

"Sorry I just got... wrapped up in my own thoughts." Veronica said, walking with Logan over to the kitchen table. She smiled, seeing the huge amount of pancakes that Logan had made.

"You know me so well." she smiled.

Logan nodded, coming up behind her and pulling out her chair for her. It was a small gesture, but it was times like these when Veronica knew that she really loved Logan. He had had such a messed up life so far, but he still took the extra time to treat her so well. She had always realized how people who were brought up the worst seemed to be the best parents. Her dad's parents had been really rough on him, which lead him to not want to be anything like them, hence his fairly relaxed attitude and great relationship with his daughter. Veronica bet that if Logan ever had kids that he would be an amazing dad. Logan, a dad. She chuckled. A few years ago she never would have tried to entertain the thought, but recently it seemed like Logan had really changed. Veronica glanced at the clock and realized that they only had a few minutes before they would have to get going, so she scarfed down her pancakes quickly. Logan, noticing her hurry, ate quickly as well, finishing by downing his whole glass of orange juice in one gulp. Veronica did the same, and got up to put on her shoes and gather her books for class.

Three times in her life Veronica Mars had been given GHB. She knew what it felt like, and it was definitely something like this.

"Logan...?" she called out, hearing a crash in the kitchen, she stumbled there to find Logan collapsed on the floor and barely had time to get over to him before she collapsed right next to him.

A/N: Sorry this took so long, I've been pretty busy. On another note, I've just started a tumblr blog dedicated to Veronica Mars at .com, so if you have a tumblr you should definitely follow it!


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